Comments on: The Great Debate – My Wife Wants a New Car http://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car Where finance and reality meet Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:59:31 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: wantsamustanghttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2764 wantsamustang Sat, 05 Jun 2010 15:30:38 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2764 I feel you pain, my husband works hard and has been putting in alot of overtime and even though he's earning more than ever we are still swimming upstream financially. My mother has been helping me with legal fees that have accumulated with my ex husband and helps pay for things for the kids 13, 11, 9 and 1 1/2. I want my husband to be happy and he certainly deserves to drive the car of his dreams but just doesn't make sense and I'm the bad guy for feeling this. He originally wanted a new mustang and now is considering a used one and I'm trying to convince myself that we would just make it work. This is making sick to my stomach because it is a huge cause for tension on our marriage. We didn't have a honeymoon, we don't take vacations and I would like to see our kids in more classes and activities which are expensive. Do I have my priorities wrong? We live in a nice home and have alot of living expenses and I'm starting to feel that we should sell the house and downsize so we have more financial freedom which would include being able to tell my husband "sure honey, lets go get your car" I feel you pain, my husband works hard and has been putting in alot of overtime and even though he’s earning more than ever we are still swimming upstream financially. My mother has been helping me with legal fees that have accumulated with my ex husband and helps pay for things for the kids 13, 11, 9 and 1 1/2. I want my husband to be happy and he certainly deserves to drive the car of his dreams but just doesn’t make sense and I’m the bad guy for feeling this. He originally wanted a new mustang and now is considering a used one and I’m trying to convince myself that we would just make it work. This is making sick to my stomach because it is a huge cause for tension on our marriage. We didn’t have a honeymoon, we don’t take vacations and I would like to see our kids in more classes and activities which are expensive. Do I have my priorities wrong? We live in a nice home and have alot of living expenses and I’m starting to feel that we should sell the house and downsize so we have more financial freedom which would include being able to tell my husband “sure honey, lets go get your car”

]]> By: Chrishttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2437 Chris Wed, 17 Feb 2010 02:19:18 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2437 I'm definitely not going to come her and bash your old lady, everyone has something they want. Us guys who have the financial drive for the future tend to see that as the thing we want most. Security, financial freedom, whatever you choose to call it these are the things that we really want. My advice for you, is to keep working with her and showing her your family's money situation. My wife and I used to really struggle over extra spending but now we are basically on the same page. There may finally be that day where you will have a breakthrough together. I’m definitely not going to come her and bash your old lady, everyone has something they want. Us guys who have the financial drive for the future tend to see that as the thing we want most. Security, financial freedom, whatever you choose to call it these are the things that we really want. My advice for you, is to keep working with her and showing her your family’s money situation. My wife and I used to really struggle over extra spending but now we are basically on the same page. There may finally be that day where you will have a breakthrough together.

]]> By: Juliehttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2415 Julie Wed, 10 Feb 2010 15:33:57 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2415 Tell her she can have her Tahoe WHEN you guys have saved up enough in a "car fund" to pay for it in cash. By the time you accumulate 36K, she may not want to spend that money on the car anymore. Tell her she can have her Tahoe WHEN you guys have saved up enough in a “car fund” to pay for it in cash. By the time you accumulate 36K, she may not want to spend that money on the car anymore.

]]> By: Kylehttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2390 Kyle Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:27:41 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2390 "If it weren’t for her income, you couldn’t contribute to your retirement." I wouldn't be able to contribute as much to retirement but we also wouldn't be living the same lifestyle we do now. We will have to work it out, but there is no reason why we aren't contributing to her Roth IRA. “If it weren’t for her income, you couldn’t contribute to your retirement.” I wouldn’t be able to contribute as much to retirement but we also wouldn’t be living the same lifestyle we do now. We will have to work it out, but there is no reason why we aren’t contributing to her Roth IRA.

]]> By: Kylehttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2389 Kyle Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:21:16 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2389 I think that is the tactic my wife is trying. She is certain to mention "WHEN she gets her Tahoe" almost everyday. Talking about it like it is a given makes it hard for me to argue the contrary as her mind seems to already be made up. I think that is the tactic my wife is trying. She is certain to mention “WHEN she gets her Tahoe” almost everyday. Talking about it like it is a given makes it hard for me to argue the contrary as her mind seems to already be made up.

]]> By: Kylehttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2388 Kyle Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:05:30 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2388 You see I think that is what has set me so far behind in this argument, my brain can't comprehend why she would want to buy a new car when the once she has works fine. I can't process it so when I talk about it I probably have an arrogant tone of "why would you even think of this stupid idiotic idea."That doesn't help so lately I have just avoided talking about it, I just can't seem to win. You see I think that is what has set me so far behind in this argument, my brain can’t comprehend why she would want to buy a new car when the once she has works fine. I can’t process it so when I talk about it I probably have an arrogant tone of “why would you even think of this stupid idiotic idea.”

That doesn’t help so lately I have just avoided talking about it, I just can’t seem to win.

]]> By: Four Pillarshttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2378 Four Pillars Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:43:25 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2378 Don't buy it - you guys can't afford it.A Tahoe? That's pretty nice...surely there is some sort of compromise ie a smaller, cheaper, older "new" car? Don’t buy it – you guys can’t afford it.

A Tahoe? That’s pretty nice…surely there is some sort of compromise ie a smaller, cheaper, older “new” car?

]]> By: moneyhoneysfhttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2374 moneyhoneysf Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:18:59 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2374 My husband will be forced to be in the same shoe as you either by the end of this year or next year. You see, I've had this car of mine let's call it Luxmobile for almost 7 years and it's been paid off for the past 3 years. But I'm having the 7 year itch where I want to buy a new car. I was thinking of giving my Luxmobile to my DH who has a beater car which he thinks works fine since it gets him from Point A to Point B. And he tried to reason with me that a new car is just a waste of money. Deep down inside, I know he is right and won't admit to it. But I'm still stuck on my decision to buy a new car since his is 16 years old now. I figured if I was to hound him every week about this future plan of mine, he'll somehow give in. He must since DW always win. My husband will be forced to be in the same shoe as you either by the end of this year or next year. You see, I’ve had this car of mine let’s call it Luxmobile for almost 7 years and it’s been paid off for the past 3 years. But I’m having the 7 year itch where I want to buy a new car. I was thinking of giving my Luxmobile to my DH who has a beater car which he thinks works fine since it gets him from Point A to Point B. And he tried to reason with me that a new car is just a waste of money. Deep down inside, I know he is right and won’t admit to it. But I’m still stuck on my decision to buy a new car since his is 16 years old now. I figured if I was to hound him every week about this future plan of mine, he’ll somehow give in. He must since DW always win.

]]> By: Len Penzohttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2367 Len Penzo Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:40:38 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2367 I feel your pain, Kyle, but this is why I advocate the importance of running your household like a business - which includes having a long-term strategic plan! :-)The Honeybee and I have a long term strategic plan for our household finances that we discuss and update annually - sometimes more frequently.Such a plan instantly eliminates these kind of problems. :-)Our long-term plan currently has no new car in the immediate horizon. So if the Honeybee came to me tomorrow asking for a $36k used Tahoe, I would point to our plan and say - "Nope, that's not in our the plan that we agreed to."Of course, that would force the two of us to reevaluate our plan and try to find a time somewhere in the future (most likely not this year, but maybe one or two years down the road) where we could readjust priorities such that she could get her $36k Tahoe.Best,Len Len Penzo dot Com I feel your pain, Kyle, but this is why I advocate the importance of running your household like a business – which includes having a long-term strategic plan! :-)

The Honeybee and I have a long term strategic plan for our household finances that we discuss and update annually – sometimes more frequently.

Such a plan instantly eliminates these kind of problems. :-)

Our long-term plan currently has no new car in the immediate horizon. So if the Honeybee came to me tomorrow asking for a $36k used Tahoe, I would point to our plan and say – “Nope, that’s not in our the plan that we agreed to.”

Of course, that would force the two of us to reevaluate our plan and try to find a time somewhere in the future (most likely not this year, but maybe one or two years down the road) where we could readjust priorities such that she could get her $36k Tahoe.

Best,

Len
Len Penzo dot Com

]]> By: LeanLifeCoachhttp://www.suburbandollar.com/2010/02/04/the-great-debate-my-wife-wants-a-new-car/comment-page-1/#comment-2366 LeanLifeCoach Thu, 04 Feb 2010 22:25:39 +0000 http://www.suburbandollar.com/?p=2258#comment-2366 Kyle - Some say when it comes to the wife "resistance is futile".I say be strong brother!My wife drives a 98 Accord with peeling paint. We've owned it free and clear for 9 years. To her... well, you understand. To me, it is beautiful!!! She was on my case for 2 years about a new car. Then we sat down and discussed our total financial picture. In the end, she came to realize that she was being "selfish" (her words!) for wanting (not needing!) a new car when we hadn't done all that we could to prepare for our long-term financial health and more importantly the kids college funds.We've been preaching to our kids that you should do what you have to do before you get to do what you want to do. Be it homework, chores or finances this rule should always apply.Make a deal with her... I.E. Pay off the second, fund both retirement accounts and save X dollars towards college fund... then buy a car (though maybe not such an expensive one!) Kyle – Some say when it comes to the wife “resistance is futile”.

I say be strong brother!

My wife drives a 98 Accord with peeling paint. We’ve owned it free and clear for 9 years. To her… well, you understand. To me, it is beautiful!!! She was on my case for 2 years about a new car. Then we sat down and discussed our total financial picture. In the end, she came to realize that she was being “selfish” (her words!) for wanting (not needing!) a new car when we hadn’t done all that we could to prepare for our long-term financial health and more importantly the kids college funds.

We’ve been preaching to our kids that you should do what you have to do before you get to do what you want to do. Be it homework, chores or finances this rule should always apply.

Make a deal with her… I.E. Pay off the second, fund both retirement accounts and save X dollars towards college fund… then buy a car (though maybe not such an expensive one!)

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