Would you lend money to an Ex?

moneyRecently a friend called me to ask for advice, this friend is recently divorced and things ended quasi amicably, but neither of them are/were good with money and both of them excessively spent more than they earned. Recently my friend was facing foreclosure and had to sell their home, luckily they were able to get out from under the mortgage and even managed to make a very small profit on the sale of their home. They were able to use the money to get ahead on the rest of their bills and have finally decided it is time to get ahead and take care of their financial situation.

But back to the reason for the call, my friends ex had called and stated their power had been cut off and if my friend didn’t give them some money to turn it back on they would kill themselves. My friend did not have the money to lend, they could barely afford their own rent and power bills. If my friend lends them the money it would be at the cost of their own second months rent.  My friend has a soft heart and was ready to lend money, they didn’t have, I advised my friend to not lend money,especially in this situation. The ex obviously needs more help than the few hunder dollars to turn their power on. What would you tell my friend?

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 SavvyChristine February 17, 2009 at 10:46 am

Wow. I don’t think I would lend money to an ex — especially not if I needed the money to keep my own electricity on.

If your friend really feels bad and wants to help the ex, I would suggest that he/she looks up information for the ex about programs that assist people in financial straits. And programs that assist people who feel hopeless and depressed, and are contemplating suicide.

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2 the weakonomist February 18, 2009 at 8:22 am

I wish I could say I wouldn’t always lend money to a friend, but I think I might in certain circumstances. However if my own situation is not bright, I’m not lending money I don’t have.

By the way, anyone who threatens to kill themselves if you don’t help them is no friend.

I’m not tight with any of my ex’s so I have no idea what I would do there.

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3 Mike February 20, 2009 at 3:40 pm

In general, no, but in that circumstance, absolutely not, though I may call a suicide hotline on her behalf.

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